Day 7: How much time?

I missed a few days out of pure busyness and exhaustion.

In the past 72 hours I have had a total of 6 hours of sleep. And most of that sleep was last night. I think that it is getting easier to fall asleep but it still isn't the same. When you are so used to having someone there and they are all the sudden gone it is like a piece of you is missing. But at least my heart is reassured because I know that he will be in my arms again.

I came to the realization in all my self pity how truly strong Heidi (Nick's cousins wife) is. Here she is just lost her soul mate. She is feeling like I am feeling only she will never get to hold him again here on earth. I want to apologize to Heidi for my total disregard.

God has a truly unique way of speaking to me through other peoples situations. And I am really seeing peoples pain. I know I can't help everyone in the world and I know I can't take away everyones pain. You never know what people are going through. If you are like me I usually try to hide my feelings and pretend things are okay but, lately I have had my heart on my sleeves. I think that God is trying to soften my hard heart and feel the way he feels about people.

I still miss my husband and I am still working on the kinks in my life but, God is doing something BIG in my life.

Stay tuned as the days get longer and my heart grows stronger.